ho for the chuunin examms!
by BarettaVendetta
Summary: A retelling of Team 7's first meeting with the Sand Siblings, written in the style of the Nigel Molesworth books hence the bad spelling .


**Ho for the Chuunin Examms!**

**Author's Note: **because I've been getting a lot of flames for this fic, allow me to explain. It is a parody of the Nigel Molesworth books by Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle. The bad spelling is deliberate because the protagonist in said books is a bad speller. I'm having problems with posting links to Wikipedia etc. because the HTML thing on here is a bit wonky. And yes, I can actually spell.

Oh dere sakura is angry agane. She belt me and konohamaru and walk off in a bate honestly i wonder if she is a GURL sometimes with those fists chiz chiz. Konohamaru sa the same thing out loud. Sakura hear him o no konohamaru you fule i think wot hav you done she will get you.

'WOT DID YOU SA SCRUFF COME HERE I WILL TUOUGH YOU UP.'

Sakura zoom towards us in a rage. Konohamaru who go crash bang walop into something.

Was it a post? Alas no instead it is an OIK who look like a cat and hav purple stripes on his face and a THING coverd in BANDIGES on his back. There is a GURL in a white dress wiv him.

'you clot' sa the oik. 'that hurt.'

The oik pick konohamaru up. We hav found a buly o gosh o gosh something bad is about to hapen.

'Konohamaru!' i cry.

'That hurt you filthy urchin' sa the buly. Konohamaru squirm like a rat.

'Stopit' sa the GURL. 'You kno we are only going to get skolded by the master later put him down.'

Sakura try to APOLOGISE chiz chiz why is she not like this wiv me? Tipical gurl. 'Im sory we were just playing forgiv naruto for he kno not wot he do etc etc'

That do it. 'PUT HIM DOWN OAF' i yell.

The buly grin at me. 'but i want to pla wiv this clot before some noisy peepul cum o go on let me o you mite' he sa.

'put me down!' sa konohamaru who is stil dangling from the buly's hand and kicking him.

'you are very enerjetic, rat' sa the buly. I am ENRAGED and zoom at him. He trip me up i kno not how he do it chiz chiz. I fall over and land on my behind chiz chiz. Wot a roter. He seme to hav some kind of jutsu that make peeple trip over. 'wot was that' i sa.

'the konoha genin' sa the buly, 'are a bunch of uter weedy wets.'

moegi and udon begin to panik as the buly lift konohamaru up. Wot a nerv he hav, i think. He isn't even from konoha and he act like he own the place this will not do o no. 'i will uterly tuough you up if you don't put him down, worm' i rore at the buly. This is not a good idea as sakura thump me and tell me to shut up or the buly mite get me. We are ninja sakura i think we are supposed to fite bulies but she is in a bate and i do not want to argue with her.

The buly notice me. 'you are an anoying litle oik aren't you' he sa threteningly. 'i do not like litle peeple and anywa you are far too short you are younger than me you hav no maners oaf. I wil brake you.'

wot is he talking about? I think.

'do wot you want i do not care' sigh the GURL. Sakura glare at the buly.

'i will duff this one up and you are next, clot' sa the buly. He aim his fist at konohamarus face. This is not good i think not good at all and i zoom towards him.

BUT WOT IS THIS? A stone hit the bulys hand. It is sasuke siting in the tree he hav buzzed a stone at the buly. The buly drop konohamaru.

'wot are you doing in our vilage oaf' sa sasuke. 'you hav a face like a wild baboon and a nose like a squashed tomato.'

sakura screme like the litle fangurl she is. 'SASUKE-KUN YOU ARE SO GRATE GOSH'.

I am v. jelous. 'Damn you sasuke you rat' i think.

'go awa twit' sa sasuke and he crush a rock in his hand. Moegi and sakura screme with delite. This does not help me any as konohamaru start to cry and call me a weedy wet. I tell him i would hav beaten the oik but he does not beleve me boo hiss. Damn you sasuke i think to myself kepe yore nose out of this i would hav beaten that oaf if you had not gone and stuck yore ore in. sasuke sasuke sasuke is there no wonder i want to be the h. at least then i will get noticed chiz chiz.

'OI YOU GET OUT OF THAT TREE' below the oik. 'i hate kids like you you think yore so clever look wot i have on my back.'

The oik begin to unrap the thing wot is coverd in bandiges is it his mater i wonder he is a strange felow who probably kepe children in his basement chiz chiz. Stop it kankuro sa the gurl. Are you going to use karasu you kno he is only for batle you sily fule.

Is karasu his mater? I wonder. And wot is he going to do oh dear oh dear cum back zabuza and yore big sord all is forgiven.

'Stop it kankuro' sa a voice from sasukes tree. We all look up there is a BOY hanging upside down would you beleve it and he hav a face like a racoon. He also hav a luv charackter on his hed and a gourd on his back i wonder wot is in it. Maybe he is a JONIN he hav the stelth of kakashi gosh gosh.

'You are an embarasment to our vilage' he sa. 'do you not kno why we are here clot.' He kno the oik whose name aparantly is KANKURO i thort it would be nekosuke or something since he hav cat ears on his hat but there you go. Kankuro back down and stuter 'sorry gaara forgiv me they started it.'

'Silence rat or i will do you got it?' sa the new bug with menace in his voice he sound like the PUKON. Maybe he hav an army of TREENS in his gourd.

Who is this person i think wot is he doing in the tree how did he get there and he put kankuro the oik wiv a face like a flea in his place. Hurra for the new bug i think. But i do not like the way he look at sasuke.

'sory' sa the new bug. 'forgiv my bro he is a fule.' he come out of the tree and land on the ground. 'we did not come here to pla GAMES' he sa.

They are about to leave when sakura ask them to state there purpose.

'o fie' sa the GURL. 'we hav permission. We are genin from the sand vilage we hav come for the chuunin examms.'

wot are the chuunin examms?' I sa.

'o you juggins as any fule kno the chuunin examms are where genin get tested to become chuunin other vilages are alowed to enter. You ort to kno that gosh kankuro is rite you are thoroughly wet and weedy in this vilage. Fotherington-thomas could tuough you up.'

'who are you?' ask sasuke.

'me?' repli the GURL. 'i am temari.'

'yes yes very good. Wot about him?' sasuke sa and point at the new bug.

'tot quot, clot' repli the new bug. 'i am gaara of the desert.'

'tu quoques, clotie' sa sasuke. 'i am sasuke uchiha the scourge of konoha.'

'WOT ABOUT ME?' i sa. Dammit i am naruto the goriller of konoha i am going to be the h. one day why doesn't the new bug notice me? I am wearing orange for pete's sake gosh.

'frankly oaf i do not care' sigh gaara. And he and the oik and the gurl disapere.

WOT.

Konohamaru danse like a fairy. 'yar boo naruto thou weedy wet thou couldst not even fight a flea now pla with us o go on naruto o you mite.'

wot can i sa? I am helpless. 10000000000 boos to sasuke.

later...

we hav come for TRAINING and kakashi is late agane. He is always late chiz chiz i bet he is drinking BEER and reading that book about GURLS.

Eventualy kakashi apere. 'good morning' he sa. 'i hav been on the path of life. O and i hav enterd you for the chuunin examms as a teme now get cracking or you will get 6.'

_SCENE: the chuunin examms. Kankuro and sasuke are in the ring. Enter NARUTO the goriller of konoha and the future h. He take one look at the oponents and larf a mitey larf._

NARUTO: Aha! Tremble before my mite o weedy wets. I will uterly tuough you up.

SASUKE: Fie.

KANKURO: Hav mercy.

NARUTO: Never, oafs. (_He tuough kankuro and sasuke up ZOOSH BAM WALOP CRASH TINKLE TINKLE_)

NARUTO: I am so grate i am so grate everybode luv me i am so grate and i am going to be the h. wot do you think of that eh? yar boo sucks to sasuke.

_Kankuro and sasuke start to blub like tinies. The h. giv me the kup and the crowd all chere naruto naruto you are the gratest ninja that ever lived hip hip hurra. _

THE 3RD H.: Naruto you are the new h. of konoha. I am not worthy of yore grateness i shall retire.

Choji eat crisps shino pla with his bugs shikamaru fall aslepe in the onion patch kakashi pla fairy bells on the skool piano asuma smoke a cig. kiba and akamaru the skool dogg howl sakura blub like an ickle GURL iruka giv tinies the KANE hinata sa o naruto you juggins.


End file.
